It Only *Sounds* Like Gum

I've been seeing this commercial a lot during prime time.



Okay, sex sells. I dig. But every time I see this commercial, I'm waiting for a disclaimer that Dentyne Ice does not protect against pregnancy or STDs. But there is no such warning.

Now I'd like to imagine that nobody is so stupid as to think this. Certainly not you and I, gentle reader; we are of the intelligent kind, let alone the kind with basic common sense.

And yet, ads for birth control pills remind users that "[Brand of OCP] does not protect against sexually transmitted infections and diseases." Let me reiterate: common sense. If you're mingling essences, so to speak, you're at risk. If you're mature enough to decide to use oral contraception, you should be smart enough not to need a warning. But there it is.

There are similar warnings, arguably more disconcerting because not attached to as taboo a subject as sex, on food packaging. You know, "remove plastic and cardboard backing from pizza before placing it in the oven." Really? I mean, there's a difference between not knowing about safe sex because you're too embarrassed to ask and being an utterly oblivious moron who has to be reminded not to melt the plastic on the pizza.

When I consider that something as common sense and *not* controversial as food preparation has to be explicitly stated, I can't imagine how soon we're going to be hearing the news story about some kid suing Dentyne Ice because he thought it would keep his girlfriend from getting pregnant.